Lessons in Flight

Sometimes God clips our wings so that we stay down on the ground long enough to hear Him speaking to us. I mean this figuratively, since we obviously don't have literal wings. But just the same, sometimes, to get our much needed attention, God does something to us to turn our heads toward Him.

In my case, He almost literally clipped my wings.

Summer is one of the most wonderful times of the year (although I like to say that about every season, in turn). For my family, it is also one of the most active. I have grown up travelling, and fallen in love with the memories and places that our many journeys take us. This summer, I spent a month on vacation, from the end of May to the end of June. I loved every minute of it; from swimming to roller coasters to walking through the woods at the Grandparents. I might not have been able to run very well, or pick up a game of soccer or ultimate frisbee, but I was not so limited by my injured knee that I could not enjoy other exciting things!

That is, until surgery. Two days after I came home from this wonderful vacation with family, I was stuck in bed. I was rather excited about the surgery, knowing that I was on the way to healing completely so that I could return to doing the things I so enjoyed. It soon became clear that the healing process was going to be a long one. This became apparent as I realized how little activity I was limited to: no biking, running, jumping, sports, swimming, hiking, etc. In short, my wings were clipped.

And like a cat in water, I was not happy. But God had me where He wanted me, and with my limited freedoms, He was able to speak clearly to and teach me several lessons I needed to learn.
-Humility: it's very humbling when you can't fend for yourself very well, and are forced to accept assistance from those around you. Ask anyone who has been on crutches before.
-Personal freedom: watching those around me take part in exciting activities while being confined to my limited movements built character, particularly patience. It also created many opportunities to be alone with my Savior.
-Surrender: God told me that He called me as His child to give up my wings so that I found myself helpless, and would learn to rely solely on Him. It was time that I give up my goals and ambitions, and yes, even my recovery, and find my desire in Him alone. It was not enough to simply want to heal quickly so that I could get back on my feet and do the things I missed, I must learn to truly see as a blessing those things which I so often took for granted. He was teaching me to fly on His wings.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~ Isaiah 40:28-31

He will never fail me. He is the one thing that will remain constant in my life. And when I surrender my wings, he carries me on His, giving me strength and power. So far as I hope in Him, I can fly.

The Rise of the Martyr

A man, though undeserving
Of the fate of men
Chose to live and die a martyr
At the hands of his greatest enemy,
Stands to face him.
Though his hour has come
He shows no fear.
Previous attacks have been inflicted,
Both body and mind;
Yet he chooses to remain and fight.

"I'm not afraid to die,"
Quoth the Martyr, tall and pale,
Though Death bore scars
Wounds so deep
They cut his very bones.
"I know you well, son of darkness,
For we have crossed paths before."
Death flexed his mighty arm
And snapped his lengthy whip
And the Martyr fell.

But young was the battle
Though weaponless the man
And rising again, he claimed,
"Yes, now is the time, proper and right
For me to pass through your world
And into mine. But beware:
I will not succumb without resistance!"
With a mighty roar, Death charged:
The blow was fierce and strong--
And the Martyr fell.

Death was determined
Yet so was the Martyr:
He obeyed not Death but God
Who had sent him to defeat this foe,
Though it cost his life.
So standing, beaten and bruised,
He challenged his enemy.
But Death, with ages of power
Used spikes on gentle hands and feet;
And the Martyr fell.

Against this power
Given strength and purpose
the Martyr could barely stand.
Weak and bloody his body showed
But his spirit was not finished.
The fate of the world lay upon his heart
Though his flesh desired surrender.
Wielding a heavy spear
Death came upon him;
And the Martyr fell.

His body broken, his spirits crushed
The Martyr crawled to his knees
And lifting his head, he cried,
"Lo, I am forsaken unto death."
His time had come;
His enemy lived on.
Victoriously, Death marched to him
And brandishing a blade of black
He pierced the martyr's heart.
And for the final time,
The Martyr fell.

Death reigned for three days
Believing the battle to be won.
But on the third day
His prisoner and adversary
Lifted his head once more
And slew Death
Rising to conquer once and for all
The strongest power of earth.
Death was defeated.
And the Martyr rose.

For Real

"I hate all your show and pretense--the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won't even notice all your choice peace offerings. Away with your noisy hymns of praise! I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living." -Amos 5:21-24

Israel was in big trouble. God had proclaimed through Amos, "The people of Israel have sinned again and again, and I will not let them go unpunished!" (Amos 2:6) After this announcement, God lists all the ways in which his chosen people had sinned, turning their backs on Him. And all their wrongs really boil down to this:

The people were fake.

They worshipped God on the Sabbath, and celebrated Him on festive occasions, making sure to follow the rituals closely. But when God wasn't "necessary," when nobody was watching, when life was comfortable, they did not worship him. Their actions the next day contradicted their praises on the Sabbath.

And God was not pleased. It was like they did not know Him! "From among all the families on the earth, I have been intimate with you alone. That is why I must punish you for all your sins." (Amos 3:2) God revealed Himself again and again to the Israelites, but despite His show of power and His enduring love, they became absorbed with themselves; they became hypocrites.

Their worship became empty, their prayers, meaningless, because in their hearts, they did not truly know God. And to God, empty praises are noisy--He doesn't want to hear them at all! The worship of a hypocrite was meaningless. He did not want to see His people, with whom He had entered into a covenant, living in a way that did not praise Him, but saying with their lips, "He is LORD!" for all to hear.

As Christians, our testimony to the world is extremely poor if what we say on Sunday is different than what we do on Monday. Our worship becomes meaningless to God when our actions directly defy what we say we believe in. When we claim to be followers of Christ, we're claiming the Bible as our living guide, and taking its contents to heart. We're living out the will of Jesus to show the world who He is. Our actions should be for real--living out a real relationship with God, with words that give proof to that.

"Do what is good and run from evil so that you may live! Then the LORD God of Heaven's Armies will be your helper, just as you have claimed." (Amos 5:14)

Live according to God's words so that you may claim them as the reason for your life.

Psalm 90

I was reading Psalm 90 the other day for devotions and I was impressed with it's beauty. Moses actually wrote this psalm, right before his death. It has so much understanding behind it's simple yet beautiful lines, but the thing that impressed me most was the fact that he wrote it at all.

The same Moses who begged God to choose another man to speak the words of God to Pharaoh wrote a whole psalm at the end of his life. Moses didn't think he was any good with words, but Psalm 90 is proof that God truly works through men to accomplish great personal accomplishments. 

I could have almost cried because I sensed so much pain accumulated through forty years wandering in a desert, leading a stubborn and rebellious people. Stress and pain Moses bore for forty years as the leader of the Israelites. Yet there was peace, and hope for the future. As if Moses really did feel fulfilled through God's will, and looking back on his life, knew that he had lived it to it's fullest for his Lord. 

For years God used Moses to carry out his plan for the Israelites, and it was at the end of his life that Moses overcame his own personal barrier to write this psalm. Moses had seen God Himself and spoken with Him and for Him, and as a little gift at the end of Moses' life, God granted him words--the very thing that caused Moses' doubt when God first approached him. It just goes to show that God is faithful--always. 

Psalm 90 shows us that Moses really understood God for who He is. And he praised Him, gave him glory, and asked one thing of Him: "make our efforts successful." Let this be our prayer. 

Psalm 90

Lord, through all the generations, you have been our home!

Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God. 

You turn people back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, you mortals!"

For a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours. 

You sweep people away like dreams that disappear. They are like grass the springs up in the morning. 

In the morning it blooms and flourishes, but by evening it is dry and withered. 

We wither beneath your anger; we are overwhelmed by your fury. 

You spread out our sins before you--our secret sins--and you see them all. We live our lives beneath your wrath, ending our years with a groan. 

Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty.

But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.

Who can comprehend the power of your anger? Your wrath is as awesome as the fear you deserve. 

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. 

O Lord, come back to us! How long will you delay? Take pity on your servants!

Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. 

Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. 

Let us, your servants, see you work again; let our children see your glory. 

And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. 

Yes, make our efforts successful! 

Beautiful

Preface: I wrote this poem in honor of one of my dearest friends. It was a way of encouraging her to keep being the gracious and loving girl she was despite the fact that everyone around her took her wonderful attitude for granted. I wanted to remind her where her worth came from, and to tell her that she was truly one of the most beautiful girls I know, and all because of her shining smile and radiant eyes, both of which displayed a loving heart that glorifies our King.

I pray this will remind us all that it is God who gives us worth, and not this world.

Ev'ry day she walks through of her peaceable life,
She's a blessing of God all wrapped up in disguise.
Though passed by on the streets--her presence is rife--
She's got calm in her smile, and joy in her eyes.

Her big smile is cheerful, it comes from her heart,
Which is full to the brim of this unsurpassed love;
For her love reaches out and it's such a big part
Of the smile that must have been sent from above.

Her clear eyes are so merry and joyful to see,
Forgiving, accepting, shine bright as a star,
Devoid of all filth to reveal purity;
A mirror reflecting a gift from afar.

If a heart should be ever as big as a tree,
It would be such a miracle sent from our Lord.
But He placed in her form a heart bigger than she
And the tree would be dwarfed by the love she outpoured.

Even though she has struggles, just look at her face
And you see that she rests in the hands sacrificed.
Redeemed and accepted, enjoying her place,
Lying broken, made whole, in the arms of our Christ.

She is beautiful, wonderful, complete and whole,
It's a wonder they pass her on by in the streets.
A jewel of the heart and a light to the soul,
They miss out on a girl that each person should meet.

Though unnoticed and often so misunderstood,
She will always be looking to reach up and out.
Her smile will brighten a life for the good,
Without a small line of a frown or a pout.

Her eyes, they continue to shine like the sun,
She's set-apart, holy, forever in love.
Free from the world, free to dance, free to run
To the God in whose arms she is safe up above.

This lover of hers on her face wrote her heart,
It shows in this beautiful, radiant girl.
Her faith is attractive--a wonderful part,
She is one of a kind, a beautiful pearl.

The Least of These

Several weeks ago I spent the weekend at Youth Haven Ranch. (Youth Haven is a camp for underprivileged kids who come from abusive or needy homes.) I was there to train to become a Leader in Training (LIT), but it was only because my mom signed me up. I was okay with the idea, I knew it would be a good experience and only that. Boy, was I ever wrong.

To become an official LIT, one has to do a week of training and then three more observational weekends. I thought, once I arrived there Friday evening, that since this was only going to be a good experience, I would not be coming back to finish the training. I was wrong again.

God's always right. And His plans are always perfect, and often contradictory to what we might think. He sure showed me that at Youth Haven. Friday evening through Saturday afternoon, I was so convinced that this was not the place for me. (I also was counting the hours until the end of camp that weekend.) It wasn't all that bad, but I just didn't feel very comfortable, and it was tiring! I had expected to commit myself to loving these love-starved kids, but they require more work than I ever dreamed of!

Then Saturday afternoon gym time came, and I had four little girls clinging to me, practically tearing my limbs off in admiration and I just suddenly loved them. Not because I knew it was the right thing to do, but because I finally let Jesus be the reason I was loving them. I loved them because they needed to be shown a true love that lasts. And it broke my heart to see them so desperate for love they should have.

During Sunday chapel, some of the kids were sharing what they had learned about Jesus at Youth Haven. One recurring answer was this: "Jesus died for my sins so that I can be with Him, and He'll always be with me no matter what."That's when I realized that when Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these," He meant these children. These children who simply put their whole trust in Jesus, not because it was the right thing to do--most did not hear of Jesus at home--but because they needed Him to love them, and they knew He could and would. It was a simple trust that grabbed ahold of my heart and showed me that faith should be like that of a child.

I ended up loving those kids so much it hurt to send them back to their homes at the end of camp. When I returned home myself, I knew something was different. I knew I had changed, to the point where I almost felt as if I did not belong at home anymore. I realized that something was missing from me, and I knew what it was. I left my heart behind at Youth Haven.

I will be going back to finish my training, Lord willing, and then work there this summer.

Like a Sunset

"God, make me like a sunset, please."

I asked this of Him recently. The funny thing is that it was the middle of a cloudy day where the sun wasn't even visible and a sunset still five hours away. You're probably thinking, "The funny thing is, Jessica, that you even thought to ask such a question! A sunset? Really?"

Hold on to your galloping animal (and I know you've got one, because everyone has a water buffalo) and let me attempt to explain what I was thinking when I asked this interesting question of God.

First, let me explain. No. There is not enough time. Let me sum up. :) (Princess Bride quote right there.)
I have been feeling rather peaceful as of late. Maybe it is simply because I have settled into my schedule, but I think it's because God knew I needed some peace. The constant hustle of life has not changed, in fact, it has increased, but I came to the realization that my fairly busy schedule should not be something in my life that stands in the way of peace. Peace is not sipping lemonade in a beach chair in Florida with a gentle breeze and a bright sun. Nor is it Christmas break when you have nothing to do. True peace is a peace of heart, no matter what the situation. So I have peace. Moving on to the sunset part.

I was talking to God, and thanking Him for this incredible peace when I had this strong desire for something else. And I knew what it was. "God, I am grateful for this peace I have, but I need passion too." For me, peace of heart without passion for God is laziness. I needed a passion that would light me on fire for all things Christ. Fire like a sunset.

A sunset is both peaceful and passionate. Its beauty is both still and fiery. Gentle and bold. Quiet, yet its very color announces its presence. Its passionate brilliance is peacefully loud.

What could be more passionate and peaceful than a sunset? A sunrise is peaceful, but in my opinion, it lacks the passion of the day.

So, you see, I wanted to be like a sunset to claim a brilliant passion for the cross while living peacefully.

God, make me like a sunset that burns in peace and passion both.